Ep 75: Empowering Teens to Architect Their Own Lives with Julie Lythcott-Haims

I’m going to start out this week’s intro with some hard to admit truth. I have spent a good part of my kids’ lives over-parenting. And if I’m being totally transparent, I still struggle with it. You too? Well, join the club. Based on the number of interviews I’ve done (today marks #75!) and the numerous casual conversations I’ve had with parents, we are a society of over-parenters. Call us helicopters, bulldozers or whatever other name you might have for it. At the end of the day we are micromanaging our kids’ lives. And while we might do a bit less of it as our kids become teenagers, and ultimately adults, I for one have spent way too much time trying to steer my kids in one direction or another. This week’s guest is an expert on this topic and our conversation is one that is worth a listen no matter how old or young your kids might be. I am joined today by the amazing Julie Lythcott-Haims. Julie is the New York Times bestselling author of the anti-helicopter parenting manifesto How to Raise an Adult. If you have not yet seen her TED Talk, make that a priority in your life. Today. It is packed full of raw truth that you might not want to hear but believe me when I say it is worth a watch. Julie’s latest book, available now, is called “Your Turn: How to Be An Adult” and it’s written for the young adult audience. During our conversation Julie shares her wisdom and experience as a former dean at Stanford University and as a parent of two now young adults. This episode is longer than most but Julie provided so much valuable advice and actionable tips that I knew I had to share the entire conversation. I am grateful to Julie for making time to speak to me and for being so open and honest about her own experience and that of her family.

About Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-Haims believes in humans and is deeply interested in what gets in our way. She is the New York Times bestselling author of the anti-helicopter parenting manifesto How to Raise an Adult. Her TED Talk on the subject has more than 5 million views, and in 2020 she became a regular contributor with CBS This Morning on parenting. Her second book is the critically-acclaimed and award-winning prose poetry memoir Real American, which illustrates her experience as a Black and biracial person in white spaces. A third book, Your Turn: How to Be an Adult, will be out in April 2021.

Julie is a former corporate lawyer and Stanford dean, and she holds a BA from Stanford, a JD from Harvard, and an MFA in Writing from California College of the Arts. She serves on the board of Common Sense Media, and on the advisory board of LeanIn.Org, and she is a former board member at Foundation for a College Education, Global Citizen Year, The Writers Grotto, and Challenge Success. She volunteers with the hospital program No One Dies Alone.

She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her partner of over thirty years, their young adults, and her mother.