In this week’s episode, I’m joined by Tanya Meessmann. After a successful career in corporate Australia and the UK, Tanya pivoted, and now has a company called Girl Shaped Flames. Tanya mentors young ambitious girls and she helps them develop self-confidence and self-belief. As a mom to two teenage sons, I live in a world that’s mostly boy-focused. So it was a pleasure to talk to Tanya about her experience with girls and what we as parents can learn about raising teens. Much of our conversation revolves around teenagers in general, so don’t worry, boy-moms, there’s plenty here for you as well. During our conversation, we talk about why it’s so important to protect our relationship with our teens, and Tanya offers three valuable suggestions about how to keep our relationships strong. We also talk about why as parents, we should try to meet our kids where they are today rather than focusing on who they were when they were younger or who we hoped they would be.
About Tanya Meessmann
Tanya runs an organization in Brisbane in Queensland, Australia called Girl Shaped Flames. She started it about four years ago after having two successful careers and starting a family. Tanya grew up in an all-girl household. Her parents separated when she was about 12 years old, so it was Tanya, her sister, and her mom. She grew up in a small town in central Queensland.
Tanya was a bit of an overachiever at school and someone who really sought out opportunities, but she didn’t have a lot of strong female role models. She went to an all-girls school that had lots of female teachers and some of them became role models, but there were not a lot of women role models throughout her career. Tanya got her degree and worked in advertising and communications for about 10 years. While it’s a pretty even split gender environment, it’s very male-heavy at the top. Tanya moved over into film production when she was in her mid-twenties and loved it. It’s been one of her number one passions in life. And it’s only now when she looks back on her film career, that she realizes that women in film were few and far between. There are a lot of men that work in film and, and again, the higher you get, the fewer women there are. So by the time Tanya was producing feature films, there were very, very few other successful female producers.
When Tanya moved back to her home state and started a family she started working as the head of brand and communications across three high schools. She was having a lot of conversations with parents and was continuing to mentor a number of young adult women. It became apparent to Tanya that young girls were running into a lot more trouble now than we were 10 years ago when it came to goals, particularly having the self-confidence and the self-belief to go after things that they wanted and to believe that they were capable and that they deserved to go after what they wanted. So it was in that realization that Tanya realized she needed to do something at the next level. Instead of just doing occasional one-on-one mentoring with girls, Tanya felt like it was time to take it to the next level and do something that was much more impactful that could actually really help the next generation of girls come through with the sort of competence and self-belief.
Episode Highlights
- The story behind Girl Shaped Flames
- Fanning your teenager’s flames
- Courageous parenting
- Developing confidence in an unstable world
- Information overload – all day, every day
- Protecting your relationship with your teen
- Meeting your teens where they are
- Tanya’s advice to her high school self
Resources
Raising Girl Shaped Flames podcast